Suicide
by Keith Kaizer
Summary: Ever wondered why Videl doesn't have a mother? Ever wondered how it's affected her life? Currently under revision but is indeed completed.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is a modified version of a piece of fiction I wrote for my sophomore literature class (in case anybody is interested in knowing). I will be including the final part of this in Chapter 2 which I will refer to as "The Good Ending". However, if you want to, you can just stop reading with this chapter. I would've ended it with what I have here if I didn't need to include a good ending to avoid any awkwardness with my teacher. Please be sure to review after you're done reading the story. I do not own Dragon Ball Z…if I did Raditz would've been around for a lot longer than he was…

* * *

I'm not what you might think. I may seem like an average teenager but, as the daughter of the great Hercule Satan, my life has been anything but normal. Unfortunately, being a crimefighter wasn't the only way I differ from everyone else. There was a darker side of me, I side I tried to hide so no one would have to worry about someone as pathetic as me. I wasn't always as devoid of hope as I am now. There was I time when I confidently believed that I deserved to exist. Despite this my life has been nothing but a torrent of pain and misery without a mother to care for me and a father who only did what was necessary to keep the media at bay. My life descent into oblivion all began the day I was born…

**_-Flashback to 17 years before present day-_**

"Congratulations Mr. Satan your wife has just given birth to a healthy girl." The doctor informed my father. My father's eyes began to well up with tears of joy until the doctor told him of the next piece of news. "However, giving birth took a lot out of your wife Mr. Satan. Unable to take the strain, she passed away shortly after giving birth to your daughter." The doctor stated with remorse. The doctor went on to say that her death was caused by cancer that had weakened her to such a feeble state, but my father didn't care. My father had already decided that I was the only reason why she was no loner with us.

"Thank you doctor." my father sharply retorted with malice evident in his voice. His burly hands were clenching together into tight fists struggling to hold back the urge to kill me for my sin. From that day forward my father had raised me the best he could, trying desperately to hide his resentment of my existence. Things had been going relatively well up until 11 years later when my father let me know _exactly _how he felt.

**_-Flashback to 6 years before present day-_**

It was 8:49 P.M. and I had just finished my homework for my English class. It had seemed to me that ever since I had become known as "The champ's daughter" I felt I could only find freedom from his shadow in my studies. The only one who ever truly cared about me for who I was had been my friend Son Gohan. Aside from my social troubles, I was relatively happy with my life in Hercule City up until the day when I found out what had become of my mother.

"Goddamn it you little piece of shit where are ya!" My father yelled in a drunken rage evident by his slurred speech.

"I'm up here dad!" I yelled from my room in the attic. I guess my father had come home from a bar yet again after finsihing up from another of his exhibition tours which, as far as I could tell, he only did for his publicity rather than his fans. Oh, if only the world could see _this _side of their champion.

"Get yer ass down here…NOW!" my father roared in a feral fury. I rushed downstairs to the living room not wanting to make my father any angrier than he already was. In the few seconds I had taken to get downstairs from my room my father had taken a seat in one of the black leather chairs in the corner of the living room. He cleared his throat and began to talk in an eerily quiet and deceptively serene voice.

"You've wanted to know why you don't have a mother haven't you?" My father inquired snidely.

"Yes sir!" I answered quickly lest I put him back into a rage. My father started to stand up and walk over to the bottom of the stairs where I had been standing in anticipation.

"It's all your fault you know..." my father said in an irritated voice.

"Wha…?" I mumbled out shocked at what my father had told me. At this point he was standing right in front of me. I was easily able to distinguish the stench of beer in his breath.

"I said it's all your fault you goddamn whelp! Your mother gave her life giving birth to you!" As soon as what my father said had managed to hit me so did he. The punch he sent into my gut caused me to drop to my knees winded and in shock.

As soon as I began trying to get to my feet to demand that he tell me this wasn't true I felt another strike on the back of my neck. As I desperately tried to recover my father sneered at my apparent weakness. I tried mumbling out a plea for him to stop but all I could muster was a whimper. "Shut the hell up!" My father roared seconds before he kicked me in the side clearly no longer satisfied with the damage his last attack had done. The last thing I saw before everything faded to black was my father staggering to his room. From that day forward my mental state had begun to deteriorate. It wasn't until 5 years later when things had gotten worse.

**_-Flashback to 1 year before present day-_**

There I was sitting with knife in hand on my bathroom floor. Since it was only 3:30 P.M. I knew I had another 5 hours before my father returned home and engaged in his daily ritual of beating the hell out of me. I grabbed the brown handle of the knife I had purchased to "replace a broken one" and began examining the blade. I couldn't believe what I was going to do so I tried to procrastinate by looking around the bathroom and taking everything in, the shower in the corner, the toilet, even the sink and the snow white walls. Upon convincing myself that all I'd heard of self-abuse pain making everything else disappear I managed to summon up enough "courage" to proceed.

After what seemed like a mere couple of moments I took the knife and slowly began to slash my right leg feeling a surge of pain course through my body. It was unbelievable! The pain I felt just seemed to make everything else disappear. I wanted to keep feeling like this, even if it was a little bit of a hassle to clean up all of the blood. I decided that after school, while my father wasn't home, I'd cut my pale white flesh and manage to fill my mind with nothing but the pain. This brings me to the here and now.

**_-Present Day-_**

I was on my way to school when Gohan saw me and decided to walk beside me on my way to school. "Hey Videl! How's it going? I was wondering if you'd maybe…um…like to…do something on Friday." Gohan stumbled through what sounded like him trying to ask me out which I found rather cute.

"Sorry, but I can't, Gohan. I promised my father that I'd spend that day working on my fighting technique since he's been seeing some serious flaws in my form." I replied reluctantly. I really did want to spend more time with Gohan since, when I was around him, I felt an odd emotion that I assumed was happiness and another somewhat similar feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on. However, I couldn't bring myself to taint him with my emotional scars so I sadly had to decline. I knew that if he managed to find any of my cuts that he would get curious and maybe even a little scared. Gohan didn't deserve to go through thepain of knowing I was "torturing myself".

"Um…sure Videl...no problem. However, there is something that I've been meaning to talk with you about. You've been acting really weird in class lately. You never seem to be able to focus on the teacher's lesson and you look like you're kind of staring off into the distance. Almost as though you're looking for something or someone." Gohan replied trying his best to hide his disappointment at my rejection but failing. He never was any good at lying.

I couldn't help but chuckle at this. "I'm _fine_ Gohan. You're worrying too much over nothing." I responded lightly not wanting to make him even more suspicious.

"But…Videl..." Gohan began with worry evident in his voice.

"I said I'm fine now drop it Gohan!" I roared surprising Gohan and even myself.

Later that day when we were in Mrs. Vargas's class our papers were being returned to us that we had turned in the previous week. When she passed my paper back to me I saw that there was a light blue note stapled on the front saying that she wanted to speak with me after class to discuss an "important issue". Gohan, who was sitting next to me like always, couldn't help but notice an odd piece of paper stapled to my assignment, and questioned me about it. I tried to play it off by changing the subject and, although he didn't oppose it, I could see he was still rather concerned. I didn't care enough to make up a reason for not being able to come, so I complied with her message and came to speak with her after school let out.

When I arrived Mrs. Vargas logged off from her computer and looked up at me standing in her doorway as if I were some sort of disturbing figment of her imagination. "Please have a seat Mrs. Satan. Anywhere you like will do."

"I hate to be rude but can we hurry this up?" I complained after sitting in the desk closest to me. "I have some work to do for _your _class." I stated with quite a bit more than a hint of arrogance and irritation evident in my voice. I really didn't have time for this, whatever this was about.

"This latest poem you turned into me…well…it disturbed me." Mrs. Vargas said with concern. "In order to demonstrate my point I would like to read an excerpt of your paper that I made a copy of for my faculty file." Mrs. Vargas cleared her throat and began to read.

**_The Truth_**

_As the darkness begins to consume me_

_I begin to wonder why I even try_

_To continue living this life_

_When everything I know is a lie_

_I've been fighting this my entire life_

_But it's time for the world to know_

_That this world is tearing me apart_

_Flesh, blood, and bones_

_Everyone I know rejects me_

_And I know the reason why_

_Why would anyone accept me_

_When I'm so pathetic I just deserve to die_

_This world has taken everything I just can't take it anymore_

_The entire world is so conformist_

_That to the world, society is nothing more than a whore_

_That's it! I'm done! I've had enough of this life!_

_So when I finally leave this world will anyone even bother to say goodbye_

_The darkness that surrounds this world is supported by society_

_If I take my life will I finally be free?_

_I will no longer fight off the darkness_

_That threatens to consume my heart, mind, and soul_

_So long you goddamn bastards!_

_But before I lave there's one more thing you must know_

_See it or not you're all slowly beginning to die_

_Maybe not physically, but all of you have perished on the inside_

_So that's it so long I've said all I need_

_So watch as I escape this world_

_As I take this knife, slash my arm, and begin to profusely bleed_

"I have taken the liberty of calling your father to speak with you regarding this pressing matter. He told me that although he has to wrap up a few things he will be home at 6:00 P.M., which is about 2 hours from now. You are free to leave Mrs. Satan." Mrs. Vargas said in a glorified tone.

"Thank you ma'am." I replied solemnly "I'll see you later." I calmly made my way out of the building to not draw any attention.

'_Holy shit!' _I thought to myself as I began to sprint home. '_Why did I have to be so goddamn stupid?'_ I yelled in my mind. '_It looks like there's no choice. In order to stop my father from doing it I'll have to take my life tonight.'_ I concluded.

When I got home I rushed into the bathroom with my knife, I took off my long-sleeved shirt to begin slashing my arms. Knowing what I had to do, I mentally said goodbye to Gohan and Mrs. Vargas, the only people in my life who seemed like they truly cared about me. I began to cut myself what I think was an hour and a half before my father was to come home. Time gets rather distorted when your mind is consumed with agony. '_Damn it!' _I thought to myself '_This is taking too long! If I'm going to finish this I need to do it now!' _After deciding that it was time to relieve myself of torment forever I stopped slicing my arms and prepared for a one-way trip to the next dimension. I pointed the knife at my stomach and pierced my flesh for the last time. The pain was so intense I knew I knew it would cause me to pass out before long. I took pride in the fact that I didn't let my father do this to me himself as I knew he would've made things far worse.

As I was starting to lose consciousness I heard a door click open and someone's voice echoing throughout my house. "Hey Videl! Are you in here! Sorry to barge in like this but I wanted to know if I could borrow your notes to help me study for tomorrow's test!" Gohan shouted with urgency. '_Take whatever you like Gohan-kun. I don't have any use for it in the afterlife. Mom…if you can hear me I want you to know that I'll be with you soon…for the first time my mother and I can finally be together…this is the happiest day of my life…' _I thought as tears began to run down my face blinding me before everything faded to black. In the last few moments of consciousness I finally realized what the feeling was I felt for Gohan. I couldn't put my finger on it because, up until I met him, my life had been completely devoid of it. This wonderful feeling was known as…love.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up a great while later lying in a hospital bed. "Where am I?" I asked weakly but with quite evident shock that I was still alive.

"You're in the Hercule City Hospital." Gohan muttered sheepishly. I cringed at simply hearing my bastard father's name. It wasn't until that moment that I decided to look around and realized that my friend Gohan and Mrs. Vargas were both sitting beside me.

"Where's my father?" I yelled in fear using all the strength I could muster. I recoiled at the sharp pain I felt in my stomach from my outcry. Mrs. Vargas, as usual, cleared her throat, and began to speak.

"Don't worry Videl, Saiyaman figured it all out and brought you here. Your father has been arrested for child abuse and, with all the evidence he managed to find, Hercule should be locked up for a long time." Mrs. Vargas stated with concern and sorrow evident in her voice. She was clearly saddened at her hero's fall from grace.

"How long have I been here?" I asked in order to get my bearings on what the status of my situation was.

"It's been a couple of days since you tried to commit suicide." Gohan mumbled trying to fight by his inevitable tears.

"Which brings me to my next point I have to make Videl." Mrs. Vargas said while looking at me with a sense of understanding. "I've also found out about you…your self-injury and, of course, your suicide attempt. After you finish physically healing you're going to have two choices, either go to a rehab center or go live with the Son family. Gohan was kind enough to make the latter a possibility. Aside from that you'll need to get regular psychiatrist visits to make sure everything is going smoothly and your recovery is coming along. Other than that we'll do our best to make sure your life will more or less return to normal," Mrs. Vargas rambled nonchalantly.

"I hate to impose…" I began weakly trying to stop Gohan from looking at me with such a sad and slightly betrayed expression. I knew what he wanted me to choose but I didn't know if it was the best idea. I didn't want Chi-Chi, let alone Goten, to find out what had happened and feel a guilty obligation to let me reside in their home.

"Nonsense! I insist Videl! Please, just stay with me for my sake…I don't know if I could handle losing you..." Gohan pleaded meekly as he was no longer able to stop himself from crying. Mrs. Vargas nodded in agreement.

"…How…how long am I going to be staying with the Son family?" I inquired as I turned away from Gohan unable to stand the sight of the hurt I brought upon him. Seeing Gohan this hurt because of something I did...it cut me more deeply than any blade ever could.

"As long as you need to heal mentally and emotionally Videl." Mrs. Vargas commented patiently. "I know you feel exposed and weak but Gohan will take good care of you. You might not be able to even hear your father's name without cringing for a while but I hope that someday you will realize that you are safe." I had no more comments to make on the matter so I merely acknowledged the fact that they think I need help and, like it or not, I was going to get it.

The next day I was reading a novel for Mrs. Vargas's class in the room that I shared with Gohan and Goten. Thanks to a senzu bean from Gohan I was able to recover in a matter of moments after we'd had our conversation. Mrs. Vargas was at first completely opposed to my early departure from the hospital but, after showing her that I could not only get up, but also did a couple of fighting moves, she grudgingly gave in. Although the information was "confidential" between Goku, Chi-Chi, Mrs. Vargas, and a few other people I'm quite sure that I would be staying here until I was confident enough to live on my own so that the child care services wouldn't have to deal with me.

After I had been shown my room and had my bags filled with the small amount of possessions I possessed thrown into the room Gohan began to make an offer. "I know how you like to fight crime and, since you know that I'm the Great Saiyaman, I thought you might be interested in a proposition." Gohan said in a way that intriguiged me. I looked at him quizzically and upon seeing my blank stare he brought over a plastic bag filled with some sort of clothing and a note card that had the words "Saiya Girl" written on it.

I began to laugh uneasily. I looked at him and mumbled, "You _are _joking _right_?" Gohan frowned at my reaction and told me to just try it on and that I might like it. Upon seeing me in the outfit he had brought for me Gohan couldn't help himself from blushing.

"You…look really nice Videl…I think it suits you quite well." I could clearly see that this meant a lot to him so I acted like I was ecstatic about how "cool" and "awesome" it was. To be perfectly honest the acting wasn't really all that hard as, to my disbelief, I actually felt kind of noble in it. A few minutes later Gohan and I were both in our "Saiya" outfits and practicing poses when Goten came in to tell us that dinner was ready. Upon seeing Gohan and I he went wide eyed and shortly there after fell to the ground with laughter. He was laughing so hard he even started to cry. I rolled my eyes at his reaction and told Gohan that he's got himself a fellow hero however I was sure to tell him that I would NOT be considered a side kick. Realizing that another name would have to be made instead he suggested I call myself "Saiyaman 2", I quickly agreed with his idea. As Gohan was about to take off his outfit and get washed up for dinner I grabbed him by the arm and he stopped in his tracks. "What's up Videl?" Gohan questioned with a puzzled look on his face.

"I…well…I never got a chance to say thank you…for saving me from myself…" I shyly replied. My embarrassment of putting myself on the spot made the words rather hard to come by, and deciding that actions speak louder than words; I pulled him into a tight embrace and locked lips with him. Upon parting I could see that Gohan's face was beet red and, seeing him beginning to stammer, I grinned. "You don't have to say anything, just don't ever stop being who you are. You shouldn't ever stop being the kind, considerate, and noble man I know and love, _Saiyaman._" I advised him after winking at him and leaving for dinner placing my suit in the same bag he gave it to me in.

A few minutes later as the Son family was sitting down to a dinner of curry Gohan turned the kitchen T.V. on. It was on a news channel that was talking about my father. The brunette black-eyed Japanese reporter began to catch my interest with what she was saying. "At approximately 8:00 P.M. last night Hercule Satan, everyone's beloved hero, was arrested for possession of drugs and the abuse of his 17 year-old daughter Videl. It was ruled last night by the city's police commissioner that, with all of the charges Hercule is facing, he will be in solitary confinement for a minimum of 12 years. His daughter was unable to be reached for comment."

Dinner was finished soon there after due to how awkward things were because of that unsettling report. After dinner I headed to the bathroom. As I was in the bathroom I began to laugh hysterically. "I guess suicide is the wrong way to go." I said arrogantly to myself. "If I were dead I wouldn't be able to see my father get a taste of karma!" '_I suppose living is worth it' _It thought. _'And as soon as I get some martial arts training from Gohan we're going to have a nice little…chat.' _I happily decided while cracking my knuckles in anticipation and joy. Let's see what he thinks of the Kamehameha…

**THE END**

Author's Note: I may make another fanfic or perhaps just include another 1-3 chapters or so about this story from Gohan's POV. However, don't count on this since it is rather unlikely. I'll be periodically revising this story as I find more grammatical errors and such. Just a heads up in case you see some differences in the story. Thanks for reading and please leave a review, even if it's just a flame, anything and everything helps. At least with _some _feedback I'll know someone's actually reading this.


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